My Kale Catastrophe

Did you know that Kale is the next super food? It is loaded with all kinds of great nutrients for your body.

My sister loves to make Kale chips. My school friends make Kale chips. My vegetarian school friends use Kale in everything. Well, by golly I was going to grow myself some Kale!

I was at Menards looking around for new ceiling lights for my family room and decided to check out the garden section. It was pretty picked over this time of year. I walked around to see what bargains I could possibly find and low and behold, I saw two pots that were labled kale.

I struck gold! Well, the purple and green kind.

I was so excited. I grabbed those babies up and plunked them on the counter and pulled out my debit card. I just knew I was going to be eating kale by supper time.

I went home and pulled out a planter that I thought would do. I loaded it down with potting soil and planted, what I thought would be my dinner in the middle of the planter. I went into the house and called my kale eating friends, bragging that I bought two kale plants.

My sister gave me advice, my friends gave me advice and my vegetarian friends gave me advice on how to make kale chips. I cut my little leaves off the kale plants and put them in a zip lock bag.

I decided to wait and take them to school the next day to show my kale vegetarian expert. I knew she would be so excited over my little bag of kale leaves.  The problem was, she was not at school the next day. No worries, I just decided to go ahead and bake them for lunch. I had more of the little gems at home to bring in to show her later.

I washed them off, oiled them down, sprinkled them with sea salt and waited for the magic to happen in the oven. It was not too long before I had a plate full of little kale chips. My taste buds could not wait any longer. I grabbed one up and ate the crispy little critter.

Cough…sputter…cough…spit…

They tasted terrible. They were bitter beyond belief. Was super food suppose to taste good?

I crunched down all 12 little leaves.

There, I ate my super food for the year!

Even though I had eaten, what had to be my nutrients for the year, I had a lingering bitter aftertaste in my mouth that no amount of water, altoids or even chocolate could get rid of.

What have I done? Have I poisoned myself?

I got on the Internet and, to my disbelief, I had  bought the wrong kind of kale. My kale was ornamental kale. You know, like shrubbery! YIKES! You are not suppose to eat my kind of kale. My only relief was that that, even though they are extremely bitter, they are edible.

Ornamental kale (that I ate) is on the left. Regular, eatable kale that you grow in your garden is on the right. It is so big next to the little ornamental kale, you can see right away why it is a super food.

The shame, the shame. I felt like my oldest daughter who does not cook, when I sent to the grocery store to buy  a zucchini and she came home with a cucumber.

I tried to get past the fact that I ate an ornamental shrub. I went out to lunch with my children and my oldest grand girl. We were standing in the front of the restaurant waiting for our little beeper to beep that our table was ready. She said, “look grandma, they have the same plants that you have.” I looked down and in their decorative planter containers were pretty purple and green ornamental kale.

Will that beeper ever go off? I am ready to eat some onion rings!

Becky

 

 

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